So Wednesday, it was Crazy Hair Day at Kindergarten. They were all reading this book, Crazy Hair Day, and were invited to come to school with their own Crazy Hair. Rowen woke up extra-early on Wednesday, SO EXCITED to go to school with crazy haIR! She can’t finish that sentence without it going up an octave and about 30 decibels.

We decided that we’d do pigtails on the sides and one on top, and “tons and TONS of hair clips”. Thusly:

I also sprinkled some sparkly powder (normally used for face) into her hair, and it turned out so cute! She was so excited!

She came off the bus at 3:30 with only the topknot still intact (no surprise there - her hair is so fine that she loses almost everything I put in it on the first wearing). But here’s what she said:

“One of my pigtails came out during gym class. My friend Alexandra had pigtails too and hers came out too and she was SO SAD. So I went and sat by her and showed her my hair, ‘See? Mine has fallen out too, it’s ok.’ And she felt better.”

Aw. So proud of my crazy-hair girl. :) I love being the mama of this amazing kid. Kindergarten has been a wonderful experience for her - she has learned to read and write, LOVES drawing all kinds of pictures, and the only thing that stuns me is that my six year old has this whole life outside of my line of sight. Mamahood is a journey of mixed feelings.

And speaking of mixed feelings - our congregation held the funeral today of a 30-year old mama of three who lost her battle with cancer this week. I was asked by the family to take photos at the viewing, around the chapel, and at the luncheon afterward. It was easily the most wrenching time I’ve ever spent behind my camera. She leaves behind three small ones - two, four, and six. And being myself the mama of a four and a six-year-old, this hit particularly close to home. I’m exhausted by the day, by the tears I didn’t do a good job of holding back as I shot, and by the unimaginable - just unimaginable. I believe with all my heart that God is good, and that earth life is only a moment in eternity, of testing and  building our faith. But I don’t think faith gets harder than this - when you really have to work to give over the Why and try to humbly just say OK, and let go.

And to answer your question, YES. I did run right home and squeeze on my two small ones for about three hours. Squeezed and kissed and smelled soft blond hair and wrapped my arms around and held them close, told them I loved them, and thanked God for this privilege. With all the heartache - and possible heartache that fills this world - another day, every day is a blessing that is worth it for the chance to live this life.

Reminds me suddenly of this incredibly beautiful song, Calling All Angels. Especially the 2nd verse.

Want to hear an exquisite version sung by the Wailin’ Jennys? I know you do. Slap on those headphones and grab a tissue:


a man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries
and high above the church bells start to ring
and as the heaviness the body oh the heaviness settles in
somewhere you can hear a mother sing

then it’s one foot then the other as you step out onto the road
how much weight? how much weight?
then it’s how long? and how far?
and how many times before it’s too late?

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don’t leave me alone
calling all angels
calling all angels
we’re cryin’ and we’re hurtin’
and we’re not sure why…

and every day you gaze upon the sunset
with such love and intensity
it’s almost…it’s almost as if
if you could only crack the code
then you’d finally understand what this all means

but if you could…do you think you would
trade in all the pain and suffering?
ah, but then you’d miss
the beauty of the light upon this earth
and the sweetness of the leaving

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don’t leave me alone
callin’ all angels
callin’ all angels
we’re tryin’
we’re hopin’
we’re hurtin’
we’re lovin’
we’re cryin’
we’re callin’
‘cause we’re not sure how this goes


Loved that one? Try here, too - Jane Siberry (here with k.d. Lang) has an angel’s voice:

Ah. :)